Friday Fiction!

// THURSDAY //

-Come here often?

Seriously? You’re attempting to hit on me? At two in the afternoon? In the library? With that line? Okay, okay I’ll bite. Have a seat. And to answer your question, yes I do come here often. Or at least I used to.

-Well you’re chatty.

Don’t tell me you’re regretting wasting your whit on me already! What’s your story? Do you come here often?

-Lately, yeah. Every day actually. I work here. I started last week.

Mmm I thought you looked new.

-New?

Yeah, most of these ol’ book jockeys have been here for years.

-Years, huh? That must mean you’ve been coming here for years yourself.

Ever since it opened. I grew up just a few blocks away.

-Do you still live there now?

Complicated question.

-Really? Why?

My parents still live there but up until, well, now I’ve lived elsewhere.

-But now you’re back?

For a time.

-What brought you back?

The library of course. It’s an exceptional one.

-Hey, will I see you again?

Probably. I really like this library.

// MONDAY //

Psst. Hey!

-Hello.

Looks like you’re having fun there putting those books back on the shelf.

-Oh it’s a blast… Look at that, the cart’s empty! So fast! Only two weeks at the library and I’ve got the Dewey Decimal system down pat.

I can tell. I’m a little impressed.

-Really?!

Eh.

-Talk about impressive. What are you reading there? An encyclopedia? That book is huge.

It’s Les Miserables by Victor Hugo. It’s great. And by great I mean super long and boring. Nothing like the musical.

-How about a break?

Yeah, that’d be great. Are you allowed to just take a break whenever you want there, book cart?

-Like I said, I’m pretty good at the Dewey Decimal system and you saw how quickly I put those books away so… I can pretty much do whatever I want around here. I’m a star.

I bet you are. Oh, look at that, your wallet fell out of your cords! Let’s see here… Oo la la nice license picture.

-Eh, it’s better than most.

Yeah, I like your moustache. Why’d you get rid of it? It’s majestic! Bryan Anthony Martinez. Martinez? What is that? Mexican?

-Yep my Mexican grandparents moved here from Mexico like one hundred years ago.

One hundred years ago, huh?

-Something like that, yeah.

So you’re Mexican?

-No I’m American. I was born in the United States of America.

Right, but you’re Mexican, too.

-Not a practicing Mexican.

A practicing Mexican? What exactly is a practicing Mexican?

-Hm how do I explain this? Okay. What’s your nationality? Like what boxes do you check on official forms?

White American?

-And would you call yourself a practicing American?

Yeah… yeah, I guess so.

-Why? What makes you a practicing American?

Well, I speak American English, watch American television, eat American food – whatever that is – read books by American authors…

-I also speak American English, watch American television, eat American food, read American books… I am a practicing American, too. I just happen to have Mexican heritage. What about you? What’s your heritage?

German, I guess.

-You guess? What don’t you know? What’s your last name?

Schumacher.

-Yeah, sounds pretty German. Well don’t you speak German? Have you ever been to Germany? When did you parents move here? Do they speak English? How many times a week do you eat sauerkraut?

Woah, woah, no I don’t speak German and neither does anyone in my family that I know of. Can you shut down attack mode please?

-Only if you answer this question honestly – you assumed I was Mexican when you saw me, right? And when I confirmed my Mexican-ness did you assume that I still live with my non-English speaking parents and that I really like tacos?

Ugh yeah, yeah, I did. And that was two questions. I bet you get asked those kinds of questions a lot, huh?

-Yeah, I do.

Well I wasn’t going to ask them, you know.

-Right.

I wasn’t!

Hey, Bryan?

-Yeah?

Just how good are you at making tacos?

-Oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh yourself. That smile would’ve looked so much better under this moustache.

-Give me that. How about we take a look see at your license?

No can do. I didn’t bring it.

-You drove here without your license? I’m sorry miss but I’m going to have to ask you to leave the premises because you are a law-breaking law-breaker.

I didn’t drive her, dinkus. I told you my parents only live a couple of blocks away.

-Your parents and also you.

For the time being, yes, I only live a couple of blocks away.

-Right. Well, this has been fun, Schumacher, but I should probably get back to work.

Those books aren’t going to shelve themselves!

-Exactly. See you tomorrow?

Probably.

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