Note to self:
There’s a difference between your relationship with other people, even relationships you’re doing in the name of and for the glory of Jesus, and your actual relationship with Jesus. Don’t get caught up in the show of salvation and miss out on the Savior. He came to get you. Not because He wants your witty and compelling blog posts or your carefully crafted prayer. He came to get you because He wants you. Don’t miss the point. Don’t miss the source.
Touch base. Fill up. Plug in. Pray. Listen. Sit. Preach to yourself the gospel daily, hourly, minute-by-minute. You’re messed up but God came to buy you back from your sin no matter the cost. Because you are His Beloved. Because He wants you. And as soon as He got you He started putting you back together, rearranging and setting and pruning. Restoring. Sanctifying. And He, the always Faithful One, has promised that He’s not going to stop that redemptive work until you’re finished. Until you’re dead.
He didn’t give up the first time you ran away or the second time or the third. He pursues, chases, wins. He is in love and He is relentless and the one He wants is selfish, lazy, mean, greedy you. Can you believe it? Believe it ’cause it’s true. Write it on your heart like He’s written you on His.
You are His Beloved. Worth dying for. He is fixing you, loving you, turning death to life inside of you and through you and around you. Let Him. Bask in the broken beauty of it.
Preach the gospel to yourself every day and eventually you’ll believe it. Fake it till you make it. And then one day the gospel truth of who Jesus is and what He did and what He is doing will be so much a part of you that you won’t even recognize yourself. You’ll start spilling out that same love and pursuit and sanctifying-super-glue that He’s using to redeem you. You will be a harvester of light, a reminder of the truth, a Beloved creation of a Loving Creator.
Then, in the midst of your daily, hourly, minute-by-minute gospel reminders, the gospel will leak out your pores, spring from your heart, pepper your words, and cover your actions. And daily, hourly, minute-by-minute you’ll be preaching the gospel to other people, too. You’ll be sharing in the messy work of redemption together. You’ll be able to point out in each other the specks of light an d life, then the trickles of light and life, and soon enough the fountains of light and life that used to be dead dead sin.
But you have to start simple. And there’s nothing more simple and humble and mind-blowing than the gospel of Jesus. Remind yourself every day, every hour, every minute that you are a mess but you are Loved and no matter what confusing filthy darkness you find yourself in, He will find you, He will come and get you, and He will love you back to life.