i am grateful (for today).

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i am grateful for soup and friends and temperatures below 80 degrees. i am grateful for grace in the face of my complaints. i am grateful for the opportunity to be grateful. i am grateful for YouTube and the internet and communicating with friends who live far away. i am grateful for the boldness of honesty and the unfailing love of a Savior Father Friend. i am grateful for my big girl bed and the promise of a lazy sleep in morning. i am grateful for words and fingers and brains and thoughts and vocal cords and keyboards and the image of the Creator i bear within my beautiful self. i am grateful for second bathrooms and second chances. for back-ups and more than i deserve. for tomorrow and new mercies.

i am grateful for friends who love me more than they love themselves, especially when they let me know it. i’m grateful for, “you’re good at that. you should keep doing that.” for encouragement and calling out our strengths. i’m grateful for growth and change, how bodies and relationships and establishments and ministries and groups grow and change and are refined through fire. i’m grateful for the chance to be like silver. i’m grateful for the many opportunities i’ve had to fail, and for all the lessons i’ve learned through failure. for all the soft places i have to land. for all the soft words i have on repeat. for all the love that carries me softly and safely to the next good thing.

i’m grateful for memories. for the good and the bad. for not forgetting. for new life. for old life. even for the life that never got a chance to be. You’re in there somewhere God, and if i’m not looking for You, what am i even doing? i’m grateful for the chance i have to proclaim truth, to live freedom, to be light. i’m grateful for all the goodness i don’t deserve. i’m grateful for instruction manuals and step-by-steps. i’m grateful for Netflix! and tv shows and audio books and real books and e books and movies and DVDs and all the things that entertain my crazy brain. i’m grateful for internet friends who get me, you know? and even for the internet friends who don’t get me, because they’re there and they showed up again.

i’m grateful for, “do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God,” because oh, that’s how it’s done. i’m grateful for the wisdom and experiences of friends. how they pass what they’ve learned along in breaths of kindness and humility. how we help each other. bear each other. build each other up. point each other. love each other. teach each other. i’m grateful for each other.

i’m grateful for the broken idea of perfection. for the refining fire that isn’t finished yet. for the process of redemption. for the process. i’m grateful for expectations i don’t have to meet yet. for the day when i’ll be complete, mature, and perfect. i’m grateful for the person i was yesterday and how i’m not her anymore. i’m grateful for the person i was last year and how she chose Life one day and the next day and the next. i’m grateful for all the grace on the days when choosing Life was too hard, wasn’t enough of a self-service. i’m grateful for the Life that chooses me anyway.

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